Acid keeps raining
on her little house
she tried everything
to get rid of it
but it becomes part of her.

Each moment burns more and more
sinking into her skin
getting directed to the heart.

She lays in a dark room,
with the boom-box playing.
It's like the radio knew
with each word being said.

She opens the door
takes four steps in
and looks.

In a room that seats a million
there sits one.

With all others open,
she chooses the one next to him.
It seemed to be the warmest.

Nightmares are controlling her nights
and day dreams take over her day

She cant take two steps
without falling to het knees
in remorse of all she has lost,
She has lost a piece of herself.

She always said, "I'll wait for you."
She always said, "I'll wait until I'm 53!"
She hoped he would remember, "Stop looking for love because it is sitting right in front of you"

__________________________________________________________________________________


Putting her pain behind her
she emotionally hides in the corners
listening and looking for what ever is to come next

People ask her too many questions
asking why she could stand to be with the one who holds the pain in his hands.
She tells them the same thing over and over.
It’s not really happening and its all just a dream nightmare.
That it would all be gone when she woke up.

Her arm stretches outward

because she is loosing the grasp of her sanity.

It's hard for her to talk to others because they couldn’t careless.

So she says nothing.
And puts a smile on.

She chews on razor blades
and walk straight into the ocean
hoping no one will stop her
because all of that feels a lot better than this now
she writes stories
quite like this one
because it is the only way to get it out

Goosebumps and cold chills  run up and down her spine.
And she lets get butterflies take over.
Controlling the way she moves, feels and acts.
They won’t let her go.
SHE WON’T LET GO!




_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

I Enjoy writing quite a bit! even if i am bad!!!
 

From the first moment I talked to you
I know I liked you
it has been four years since that moment
and my feelings haven't changed,
they merely grew

I see you at your locker
and in a couple of my classes
I want to tell you how I feel
but my shyness keeps taking over

A life without you in it
gets me cringing at the thought
because you are my knight in shining armor
and I will always need you.

I can talk to you for hours on end
about stupid things like dinosaur paintings
but I still cant tell you how much you need to me

You make me feel like a little kid again
cause every time I see you it is exactly the same
you give me the butterflies
and a smile that wont seem to go away
but when you smile back
you let me know everything will be okay

School is so... blah..


I'm excited that it's over, but I'm also pretty sad that my freinds are leaving.

In first period today we watched the baby video... mehh..

Second, we took our final.

Third, Watched Fever Pitch

Forth, I'm gonna be over at the middle school most of the time a'cause the band is playing freakin POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


fkjhfsjhgd

i want to go home.
i really dont want to be here now.
lalalalalalalalala not watching fever pitch.

myspace is stupid.
i give up!!



well i guess I'll go now..
this is boring me!!!

c'ya
<3 Sars.

 That dream keeps playing back in my head. No more three hour naps right after school while watching Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. :)

We were in Florida and I was lying on my beach towel in the warm golden sand. He was hovering over me applying sunscreen to my back to make sure I didn’t get burned like I had the time before. Except this time it was night. I turned over to where I was laying on my back. I looked up and there it was, his bright, big, blue, eyes looking back into mine. He gives me that grin, you know, the one that says "You look really pretty today, I love you." his face got close to mine. Our noses were touching, and then he tries to kiss me. I turned away. He looks at me with this confused look and says, "That didn’t go like I expected." I looked up at him, giggled, and with smiles on our faces, we kissed. We actually kissed. Nothing could make this moment better. I couldn’t help but to smile. Oddly enough there was one thing that could make this sweet moment, turn into a hilarious one. Ms. Cook walked up with perfect timing. While he was still laying on me she looked at him and said "What would Jesus do?" His scratchy stubble was on my face as he put his head down while he silently laughed. We knew what she meant by that but were too embarrassed to say anything about it. 

I woke up.

 And there, in this cold sweat I laid there still, not moving because I wanted to go back to sleep, I needed to keep dreaming. 
I finally fell back asleep, but I didn’t keep that dream, no, instead it was about a freakin’ haunted house.

 mehh.
:) 

My heart stopped. It just stopped beating. And for the first time in my life, I had the feeling. You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you all inside you and you're floating, floating in mid-air and the only thing keeping you from drifting away is their eyes. They're connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away.

ahh. 

Is it such a sin that teens can’t have fun anymore?

You are taking it all away from us when we did nothing.

You claim we "run people off" by being so "immature",

But is it true?

NO.

I have changed so many times before,

Hoping that is wouldn’t need to do it again.

I finally figured out who I am.

So I’m not changing again for you.

As much as it hurts me to say,

It must be said.

Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.

At one point in time we were friends.

What happened to that?

You have watched me grow up a lot these past few years and automatically you want me to become a successful adult?

Our ages range from fourteen to sixteen,

None quite ready for adulthood wouldn’t you say?

We all have time.

So give it to us.

I looked up to you more and more each day,

Until now.

That all became lost when these things were said.

IT HURT!

Many tears were shed!

Do you care?

You hurt us all,

Deep.

She told me about what you said.

And I immediately thought, "Is the world coming to an end?"

Never in a million years would I have thought this would happen.

It left us all speechless.

Your words broke my heart.

So much that I can’t even think straight.

All we ever tried doing was apologizing.

I don’t understand this.

I don’t understand you.

Why have you don’t this to us?

It makes no sense.

What was the point to all of this?

To hurt your friends?

We all have lost something very important to us,

And it was you.

Whatever is going in is going on in your head I am not quite sure of.

But I must say I am dearly sorry.

You have been there through ALL my problems,

Helping me.

Making things right.

And now you are saying that is has to change?

Changes have to be made but I’m not sure if it was the ones that you were thinking about.

If only there was that one word that could save us all again.

We, even you, just need to open our eyes and look at the big picture.

Things have mostly changed for the better.

Not everyone is perfect.

Why does everyone expect that from us?

Love needs to be shared. It’s how we get out of here.

Fact:

Back when preps ruled the classrooms, lunch tables, community, even church nobody was truly happy were they? People were trying to fit in with everybody else. People lived to be popular and feel wanted. Church was torture. The preps took over. No one could control it. It wasn’t fun being in the youth group, going different places with them was hard. You felt like crap knowing that they would never want to be seen with you guys.

But I realized something. It doesn’t matter how cool you are. You just need to be wanted. Immature or not immature it doesn’t matter just as long as you are having fun. Me and my friends are immature, I must admit. But the thing is, we just want to have fun.  And we found a way to do that.

BE YOURSELF! Don’t pretend you are something else to impress the people around you.

You certainly cannot change every time someone sees a flaw. We all have our views on how someone should be, someone should act, but only you have the say on what should be done about yourself.

Fact:

The reason that we "don’t keep a guy" may very well be that we don’t want one at the time. It takes time to realize what we want exactly want in a guy. We pick and choose from the worst selection imaginable. Boys around here aren’t what we exactly want. For example I like my best friend. He is wonderful. But right now I am too afraid to make a move because I am afraid that he could end up like the rest of them.